No food post about yesterday, because yesterday sucked. 😦
I worked from 12pm to 8pm, still had no rest and was feeling completely drained. My shift was going well though, I was connecting with all my tables, making good money, having a fine time.
Then, my manager pulled me aside. One of my coworkers wanted to switch shifts with me next week, and I agreed to take his closing shift in return for my shift. The manager said he didn’t want to make the switch because the last time I closed he “didn’t hear good things”, then went on to say that when I’m asked to do things I need to do them right away and not “lollygag as much”.
Needless to say, after that I felt like shit. The manager, who I’ll simply refer to as T is never particularly nice to me. Whenever I ask him for something he gives me a look like “what do you want” and whenever I ask him to do a simple thing like swipe his card to comp something I accidentally put into the computer wrong (a simple mistake, we all have them) he talks to me as if I’m a horrible employee. They always say that the managers are there to help us, that we should feel comfortable going to them… how am I supposed to feel comfortable when I’m always feeling belittled?
The last time I closed, the closing manager was D. D & T are best buds and kind of like overgrown frat boys. They like the sorority girls that work at the pub, they like the girls that they think are hot, and they like the guys. I don’t fit into those categories, so I’m basically just in their way.
When I closed on Tuesday, I clocked out at 1:25am, 25 minutes after closing. That’s pretty much on par with when I get out when I’m closing with someone else who’s helping me. I was all by myself doing everything and I think I did it as quick as I could. I did ask D to help me put the chairs up on all the tables in the restaurant, because that’s really tiresome work for one girl, I know a guy can do it in half the time. I also had several coworkers who assured me that one of the guys would help me with the chairs. However, D walked right past me and ignored me when I asked for help. Did I walk away and do another job, hoping that someone would do the chairs for me? No, I went and hoisted every single chair up onto the tables.
There was also another day that D asked me to wipe down the bird crap that had gotten on one of the windows when a bird got into the store. I kept putting it off because I had customers. Finally I was going to do it, but then I realized the stain was 10 ft off the ground. I told D I couldn’t do it, he told me to get on a chair and do it. My uniform at work is a miniskirt, and I just don’t feel comfortable getting on a chair in the restaurant and reaching up to clean the window, especially if I still have people at my tables. You could basically see up my skirt if I do that! I had the busser do it for me as a favor, and I stand by that.
Now I will admit that I am not the perfect employee. Last week I did something that I could have gotten fired for. It was stupid, and not reflective of my true character at all, and I regret it immensely. I can understand being upset with me for that, but this lollygagging sh*t is really just petty in my opinion.
When I was finally done with my shift, I went to check out with T. It’s really stressed to us at work that we need to get people to sign up to be part of the “VIP Club”, and they want to see X amount of VIP slips every shift. I get frustrated because people just don’t want to get hounded to sign up for e-mail lists. Yesterday I got 0 VIPs, and when T asked me how many VIPs I got and I said “none” he looked at me and said “What did you do all day?”
I’ll tell you what I did… I worked. I made connections with all my tables. I got to know them personally, and made them feel like they knew me. I made them want to come back again and have another great experience. I can tell you something interesting about every single one of my tables yesterday.
- One guy was a organic chemistry professor who likes to teach chemistry in a logical way, as opposed to teaching it in a way that stresses memorization.
- Another gentleman was an engineering professor who has been working on a text book for 2 years.
- I met a junior Civil Engineering major, going to his last English class of winter semester. They were doing presentations, he’d already done his.
- I met another girl who was heading from the bar to the library to study for her two finals the next day.
The list goes on. Did I get VIPs yesterday? No. But do any of the other servers get to know their customers so well? I doubt it.
I was super frustrated and upset but I made a point to not let it show at work. I kept telling myself “Don’t cry, don’t cry”. On the way home, as I went over the shift in my head, I started to get emotional. When I got into the apartment a few tears started to form in my eyes.
Then I turned on my laptop and I saw my desktop photo:
This picture reminds me of a photo that we have at home of my dad and I when I was really little. We’re walking together, holding hands. But when you look really close, I actually have my entire fist wrapped around his index finger.
I saw that picture, and I started hysterically crying. It hit me, oh my god my dad’s really gone. He can’t comfort me right now, he can’t tell me it’s all going to be OK, he’s gone and he’ll never be back.
I cried and cried and cried. I cried for about an hour straight, then I had bouts of tears periodically throughout the rest of the night. When it hits you that a loved one is gone, it hits really hard. Harder than you can imagine, deeper than any pain you’ve ever felt before.
I didn’t fall asleep until after 3:30am, and I kept waking up with violent coughs.
I woke up feeling miserable, and I have to go back to work again tonight. I just don’t want to go. I’m seriously dreading it.
Due to the big blizzard about to hit the east coast (estimates of 12-24″ for us) I doubt there will be much business tonight. Hopefully I’ll have a short, uneventful shift. I’m also supposed to open at 9:30am tomorrow. I’m praying that we get enough snow by morning that I don’t have to go in. I can’t think of anything worse than walking across town in a snow storm to work for people that make you feel like crap.
Wish me lots of luck and lots of snow. I need both.
P.S. I’m trying to decide on whether or not I want to talk to T tonight and tell him how I feel like he’s always belittling me. What do you guys think? Stand up for myself or stay quiet and hope it gets better on its own? I feel like my only chance at a better relationship with him is if I make him see how he makes me feel. Otherwise, he’ll just keep being a jerk.