I am on a roll! How many good days has this been?? SO many! To anyone who is stuck in an eating disorder of any kind and feel like you are trapped, you’re not! You can break free and have good days. It IS possible. I’m so proud of everything that I have done, however I know that I am not immune to binge temptations. I know that there is always a chance that I could slip into old habits or have a mis-step, but I feel like now I have the tools to deal with them better.
I was going to get up at 8:40am this morning and do Zumba, but I did NOT sleep well last night. I was tossing and turning and scratching, and at 3:30am I got up and took a shower! I felt like I still had sunscreen on me from the beach even though I had showered earlier, and I couldn’t deal with it any longer so I took a 15 minute shower in the middle of the night. Crazy, right? It actually helped a lot though, I finally fell asleep pretty soon after that.
So, when I got out of the shower at 3:45am I decided to turn my alarm off and let myself sleep in. Working out is important for your health, but sleep is a priority. A girl can’t be healthy without sleep, even if you’re working out and eating right. I woke up at 11am on my own and headed straight to the gym for a mini work-out. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, three leg machines, and two arm machines and then I was out the door.
When I got home I started making lunch right away since it was already 12:30 at this point. I made a very colorful and delicious salad.
Salad greens, red and green bell peppers, red onion, tomato, carrots, edamame, and mango salsa.
After lunch I spent some time reading blogs, and by 2:30pm I was in bed napping! I slept until 3:40pm, and at 4:15pm I was getting ready for work.
While I was getting ready, I quickly tried on a couple of pieces of clothes in my wardrobe. The shorts that I had gotten earlier this summer didn’t fit when I brought them home because I bought them in the size I want to be, not the size I actually am. I tried on a pair of them today and they still don’t fit right, but they’re getting better. When I first tried the shorts on they were hard to get over my thighs and I couldn’t get them buttoned. Now they’re up and buttoned but tight. In a few more weeks they should be fitting even better. Slow and steady. Another pair of shorts that were very tight at the beginning of summer fit much better now. I’m excited. No need to weigh myself and be a slave to the scale and it’s numbers, just gonna keep checking in on how things fit. And, the fact that some of my shorts didn’t fit today did not upset me, I was happy that they fit better and I felt proud about how far I’ve come and how much more I will do for myself. I’m seriously loving this new positive state of mind.
At 4:30pm I had dinner. I needed something quick because I was running a little late. Therefor I had a frozen Kashi meal. Not something I would reach for every day (I enjoy making my own food), but it was super convenient in a pinch. I had the Ranchero Beans meal and it was very flavorful. I really liked it. I added some extra black beans to mine since I had them sitting in the fridge. The portion was a little small, and it didn’t have enough lasting power, but I would certainly recommend it, maybe with a side salad?
Work was uneventful. I was there from 5-10:15pm. I was getting pretty hungry towards the end of my shift, but I kept the snacking to a minimum – one cracker and 1/2 oreo. I always try to remind myself at work to not spoil my appetite at the restaurant on candy because the things I have at home are SO much better. For example, tonight’s snack:
1/2 banana, frozen grapes, natural peanut butter, and Clif Mojo Bar Peanut Butter Pretzel.
This was worth waiting for, very yummy. There is something so comforting about peanut butter when I come home exhausted from work (plus I love sneaking some extra straight from the jar!). And the bar was a nice combination of sweet and salty, my favorite flavor pairing.
I sent some pictures in to Operation Beautiful this week and they got posted today! Check out the site to see my four positive messages and many more from amazing women around the country! My favorite note that I posted: